Queuing

Did you know that the average person in the UK over 50 will have spent 2 years waiting in lines?! The reason I mention this is because on Saturday I spent a small eternity queuing at the airport check where they processed 50,000 people’s boarding. I wouldn’t have minded if the single check in clerk was not yet out of Secondary school, had infinitesimally low intellect, and processed each boarding pass at the rate of one every half hour. But it wasn’t his entire fault; there were 50 check in desks unmanned right up until I reached the desk. Then, as if by some divine intervention, the entire check in clerk workforce in the UK filled up the available desks to process the 3 remaining families, then, presumably, sat and waited in an empty lobby until the next crush came, when they would all leave for tea break again! The same thing happened at the security checkpoint, passport control, boarding gate and even the coffee shop. Yet, as soon as I reached the airport in Switzerland, all was quick and efficient. The same was true of the bank and train station. Why?
Personally, I put it down to the Swiss Army knife. Any country that can come up with a contraption that contains tweezers, a toothpick, a corkscrew, fish scaler, magnifying glass, ballpoint pen, and even, on some modern ones, a USB key has to hold the reputation for being the most efficient nation in the world. Not that there are any uses for Swiss Army knives. Seriously, can you imagine a circumstance in which you would need an all-in-one fish scaler cum USB key? But that is not the point. Young children can cause serious damage and harm with them, so they have become a necessity for growing small boys. Efficiency is the key with Swiss Army knives. Can you imagine parents buying separate utensils for different purposes for kids who have a hankering to carve their initials in trees after removing splinters with tweezers? So, because the Swiss have achieved their reputation as being an efficient nation through the Swiss Army knife, they are anxious not to disappoint. And I salute them for it. If only we could have some of that clear headed efficiency in England. But we can’t, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the fact that 4% of my life has been spent in a queue.